There has been much speculation in town whether I would be a worthy successor to me Pops, Gilagan. Most of that talk is how I will surpass him as a spender of gold and smoker of smokeweed and nothing else. So when the
FAE popped into town with a request to aid a lady cleric in finding some sort of diamond encrusted artifact I jumped at the chance to prove those bastards wrong and get my hands on some lovelies (I am of course referring to the golden, bejeweled, and fair haired variety). We had just had a jaunt around a war torn hill that netted me a little gold and less notoriety. The worst part was that the only damsels were a pair of wrinkled witches who only wanted to take our hard earned gold for some conversation! So I entered the carriage with a tall and serious fellow named Devedos. He only wanted to speak of righteousness and helping others and obviously had no gold to steal but he was not an unpleasant chap and treated me quite nicely. Upon arrival we met Mattie the Mournful. Such a sad and delicate pale flower! She relayed to us her plight and I knew this was going to be a fun little excursion, the hill could wait. We also managed to pick up a stowaway neanderthal, he was this strong simple minded fellow who aided us on the hill and was no doubt looking for adventure as well. Our first outing was nothing short of comical. The townspeople, although hospitable, were strange. The owner of the local store was trying to sell us what he called an orc grenade which contained the remains of an orc child. How it actually worked was beyond me but if I had some extra gold I would like try it! We picked up a mage named Renfro at the local pub and headed out to the caves to seek out the item Mattie so desperately sought. The caves were dark and smelled like rotten flesh and soon we found the reason why. We were set upon by some giant rats...ugh. One of the creatures bit me on the shoulder, I could smell it's rank breath as it sank it's teeth into me. I nearly passed out from the pain but I managed to push it off of me. My companions managed to dispatch of the rest of the rats. I was liking them more and more. I was about to propose we leave and return when feeling a little better when the fair Mattie produced a vial of snow white liquid. She offered me a sip and I felt the pain in my shoulder disappear. I gave her the patented Gileegan wry smile and she responded with a look so awkward and sad it made me little hobbit heart flutter!
We made our way around the caves for a bit more then entered into what appeared to be a tropical jungle inside the underground caves! As strange as this appeared we soon saw something even stranger, a merchant right in the middle of this odd jungle cave. His voice was like serpent oil and when he asked what we sought Mattie fell prey to his charm. He instantly produced the very item Mattie sought. Now Mummy always told me that if it looks too good to be true then it probably isn't and Mummy is NEVER wrong. I pulled Devedos aside as I knew he was far too prudent to be fooled by this charlatan. Devedos quickly began his righteous speak with the merchant, show off... The merchant disappeared into thin air.
Moving on through the caves we happened upon a group of bandits. My new companion Devedos went into the fray all arms and legs and made short work of these poor fellows. I managed to get in a few arrows myself. After realizing our neanderthal friend Link had taken most of the blows from the bandits we decided to head back to town. I was determined to find out what kind of drink Mattie preferred!
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